Outtakes on the Outskirts

Country life never goes as planned


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A sign that spring is coming

If you’ve followed my blog for any length of time, you know I deal with various furry woodland creatures around my house.

Every spring, I have the battle of the chipmunks. Skunks and raccoons frequent the garden in the summer.

Now, I have a bigger problem since the temperatures are starting to warm up and furry creatures wake up from their long winter naps.

Squirrels.

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My usual tactic is to grease my shepherd’s hook with lard or Crisco. It makes the pole slippery enough to deter chipmunks, but the squirrels aren’t bothered by it.

Ugh. They’d be easier to hate if they weren’t so cute.

Back to the drawing board. I think I just need to give up and buy a baffle.


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The reading list

I took a different approach to New Year’s Resolutions this year. Instead of trying to improve myself by promising to lose weight or something similar, I decided to wanted to read more.

This may sound like  a cop out, but I would disagree. I don’t give myself a lot of downtime with my favorite hobby, so making this resolution actually has helped me have a less stressful 2013.

Here’s what I’ve read so far, excluding cookbooks, this year:

  • The “Hunger Games” trilogy – Suzanne Collins
  • “Make the Bread, Buy the Butter” – Jennifer Reese (A great resource on what’s cheaper to make at home versus buying at the store.)
  • “Water for Elephants” – Sara Gruen
  • “The Paris Wife” – Paula McLain
  • “Riveted” – Meljean Brook (I typically don’t read romances, but NPR recommended this steampunk-themed book, and it was better than I expected.)
  • “Gone Girl” – Gillian Flynn (The plot in this one was crazy BONKERS.)

And here’s what’s on deck:

  • “The Holy or the Broken: Leonard Cohen, Jeff Buckley, and the Unlikely Ascent of ‘Hallelujah’” – Alan Light
  • “Office Girl” – Joe Meno
  • “The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes” – Arthur Conan Doyle

I have almost 90 other books on my library’s ebook wish list. I think I’m going to be busy for awhile.


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Who needs sleep?

Remember this cute little furry monster I picked up in July and named Andy?

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Um, yeah. So here’s what that furry monster looked like as of this month, still convinced he’s small enough to squeeze in that corner of my desk:

Chillin' on the desk like a boss.

Chillin’ on the desk like a boss.

And said monster woke me up around 4:30 a.m. this morning because he was lonely and wanted his ears scratched. And when I happily obliged and then prepared to roll over and go back to sleep, he insisted on headbutting me to move so he could have a warm spot to curl up in. And when he wasn’t satisfied with that, laid on my face. My allergies just loved that.

Happy Wednesday, everyone.


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Making mayo

I did a glorious thing for the first time in my life today. I made mayonnaise. It was one of the most delicious things I’ve ever tasted.

And you know what? It was so freaking easy!

I deliberately don’t keep mayo in the house because I would slather it on everything possible and gain a million pounds. But today I wanted a tuna salad sandwich on toast, and you can’t have a good tuna salad in my opinion without mayo. And since I don’t keep the fattening stuff in the house, I busted out the KitchenAid and made my own.

I used the recipe in Dorie Greenspan’s “Around my French Table” cookbook. She advised that the whole process would take about 10 minutes, and she’s right. It’s very quick if you have a stand mixer, but a hand mixer would work well if you’ve got a kitchen buddy to man it. Easy peesy.

Here’s the her recipe, with my instructions and tweaks, for you to try on your own. It doesn’t make much mayo, maybe a 1/2 cup, which is good because Greenspan says it will only keep for a day or two. Toss a few tablespoons of it with some tuna and sweet pickle relish and you’ve got yourself some awesome tuna salad.

Warning: Homemade mayo uses a raw egg. Since I have my own chickens and know my hens are healthy, eating a raw egg doesn’t bother me. Also, this mayo is not white, but a smooth butter yellow.

Homemade mayo:

  • One large egg yolk, room temperature
  • 2 tsp. freshly squeezed lemon juice or wine vinegar (I used the lemon juice)
  • 1/4 tsp. Dijon mustard (I used spicy brown mustard)
  • dash of salt
  • 1/2 to 1 cup oil, room temperature (I used a 1/2 cup of olive oil because I like the flavor of olive oil mayo, but any kind will do)

Put everything but the oil in a stand mixer bowl and mix on a slow speed until combined. Add the olive oil in slowly by teaspoon, adding the next only when the previous oil was blended in with the yolk mixture. Greenspan advises to take your time with this and add the oil as slowly as possible. She wrote “drop by drop” in her instructions for the pace. When about a 1/4 cup of the oil is used, you can add it a little faster.

Greenspan said to use up to 1 cup of oil until the mayo reaches your desired state, but use at least a 1/2 cup. The 1/2 cup of oil made a nice thick mayo for me, so I stopped there.

When all of your oil has been mixed with the yolk and has the consistency of mayo, take a taste. I prefer my mayo a little tangy, so I added between a 1/2 and 1 tsp. of white vinegar. I also added just a pinch more salt and a pinch of pepper. Delish!

Do you make any of your own condiments at home? Have you tried homemade mayo?


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A good friend on chilly days and nights

One of the weather-related jokes in Ohio is that if you don’t like the current state of the weather, just wait five minutes and it’ll change.

Case in point, Sunday it was a balmy almost 50 degrees F. Today, we’ll be lucky if we break 10 F (it’s 4 F now). Plus, the wind chill will be a tropical -15 F.

Freaking. Cold.

I’m not a fan of winter. It’s cold and dry. It’s brown. The lack of sun is depressing. My gloves stick to the spigot when I pour new water for The Ladies in the morning. I feel the urge to yell at kids to get off of my lawn when there aren’t any kids in the neighborhood and I don’t have gray hair and a walker. I just want the excuse to make someone else feel my misery.

The good thing is there are some things that make winter bearable. Those things are a good book, a warm cuppa tea, Andy or Cougar curled up in my lap and my trusty quilt.

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I made this quilt when I was 21 and on summer break from college. It was the first and only quilt I’ve made in my life (so far). It’s a true scrap quilt because it’s made from my family’s old blue jeans. It’s hard to notice with denim, but the quilt starts with the light blue at the top and dissolves to dark blue at the bottom to represent a twilight sky. It’s a heavy, warm quilt and I find comfort in those qualities. My husband and I fight over it when we want to cozy up on the love seat.

Do you have a favorite blanket you like to curl up with on winter nights? What about tea? Right now I can’t stop drinking Celestial Seasonings’ India Spice chai tea. It’s delicious with a teaspoon of raw honey and just a splash of milk.


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Baking with lard (aka my latest crazy idea)

In my quest to cook what I call “real” food, or food that has ingredients that I can actually pronounce, I’ve decided to try baking with lard instead of vegetable shortening for recipes that call for such.

“Wait, what?!” You may be thinking. “That’s disgusting!”

Hear me out. I used to share those sentiments too until I made biscuits with lard and did research on lard’s history. (Those biscuits were freakin’ fantastic!)  Although if you’re a vegan/vegetarian I can understand your disgust.

Let’s start with the background first. It all started for me I found an article on NPR’s Planet Money titled “Who Killed Lard?” According to the article, Crisco, a brand of vegetable shortening sold here in the States, was invented by a chemist for Procter & Gamble in the early 1900s. The company had extra cottonseed oil on its hands because it was used to make candles, which were becoming less popular due to light bulbs. They needed a way to use the extra oil, so Crisco was born with a good marketing campaign. Basically, in my opinion, this brand of shortening was born as a business move, not for healthy food.

That was the bomb drop for me.

I picked up Grit magazine’s cookbook “Lard: The Lost Art of Cooking with Your Grandmother’s Secret Ingredient” from my library to do some additional research. If you’re a Mother Earth News/Living subscriber like I am, you may have seen it advertised in those publications.

Here’s something I didn’t know that I learned from the book: Compared to butter, lard has less saturated fat. NPR also published another article comparing lard, vegetable oils and vegetable shortening titled “Lard is Back in the Larder, but Hold the Health Claims” that I found informative as well.

The biggest issue for me is that vegetable shortening is made with partially hydrogenated oils, while lard is just lard (if purchased from a butcher/farmer, not the typically hydrogenated lard found on store shelves). I am not a nutrionist and I will never claim to be one, but I believe partially hydrogenated oils are bad for health.

That is just a brief overview of what I’ve found, but it was enough to convince me purchase a small bucket of lard at an Amish bulk food store that was processed by a local butcher. I’ve also been in contact with my local farmer’s market co-op to get lard from pasture-raised local hogs to render myself. Buying local is important to me too, so this is a kill-two-birds-with-one-stone project for me.

Now, on to the baking results. I’ve made biscuits and brownies with my lard so far. The difference in the texture and taste of these products were immediately noticeable before I even started baking! The brownie batter was a smooth as velvet when I mixed it, and they were chewy and moist with a crisp outer edge when done. They did not taste greasy or like pork. My parents and sister, who I gave a brownie to before spilling the beans on their ingredients, did not notice a porky taste and loved them. As for the biscuits, good gravy, were they delicious. They were flaky, savory and so soft!

I also would like to clarify that I will not be using lard on a daily basis. I only used shortening when baking pie, biscuits, and cookies, so maybe once or twice a month if it’s not a holiday month. I rarely fry things, and if I do I tend to use olive or canola oils. Olive oil is my oil of choice for greasing a skillet or pan.

I’m curious to hear your thoughts on this subject. Do you, or would you, use lard? Why or why not?


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Follow up – the coconut oil experiment

Exactly one year ago today I started using coconut oil as a body lotion. I figure it’s about time for a follow up.

I switched from lotion to coconut oil because:

  • I hate smelling like a potpourri basket
  • I care about what goes on my skin
  • My impression of a rabid chihuahua scratching its legs to death when I have an allergic reaction to a lotion gets old after a while

After a year of itch-free skin, I will not switch back to lotion. No freaking way. My skin hasn’t looked or felt this good in years. I use it on my elbows, feet, legs and face. Coconut oil doesn’t smell, doesn’t make me feel like a greased pig and doesn’t take much to get the job done. The skin on my hands still cracks occasionally because I’m constantly washing them or exposing them to the winter weather,  but not nearly as bad as before. In my world, coconut oil is a skin miracle cure.

Here’s something I didn’t expect though – the cost savings! In a year, I’ve used exactly two 14-ounce jars of coconut oil. That’s roughly $13. I’ve seen bottles of lotion that cost that much.

Have any of you tried it? How did it work for you?

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